Last week I had an extremely rough day. I was mentally and physically exhausted. I wrote a blog post/goodbye letter.
After who did I reach out to?
The one who caused all the destruction that I’ve been dealing with. I asked him to give me a reason to not check out…
Surprisingly enough, he talked me through it all.
God sometimes works through the most unlikely sources.
I printed out that blog post and decided to place it in my Bible, as a reminder for other very sad days. I just randomly opened my Bible to place the paper in and saw that it opened to the first page of Lamentations!
Coincidence? No! God was telling me that it’s okay to have grief through the rough times. He expects us to have tough times and wants us to cry out to Him. He wants to comfort us just as any good father would. He loves me and wants me here for a reason. I may not know what that reason is yet, but He will lead me to it in His time. He will get me through all of this and I’ll be stronger for it, I just need to lean into Him and trust that He’s got this.
May is mental health awareness month, but I have a passion for people who are hurting all year long. I have lived with depression my entire life. I am on antidepressants and not afraid to share that with anyone because I know what it felt like before the medicine. I have zero doubt that if it weren't for the medication, I wouldn’t still be here. To have the kind of low that I had last week while taking medication, there would have been no talking to anyone. I wouldn’t be here writing this right now. Does Jesus strengthen and keep me? YES! But poor mental health can keep me from leaning on Him. If you’ve never struggled with depression or anxiety you can’t fully understand how the mind can get so dark. It’s like being in a deep pit where no light can get in and you climb and climb, but can’t seem to find the light so you get so tired that you just stop trying to climb out and resign yourself to the fact that this is just how it is.
If you’re reading this today, God is likely guiding you toward getting help. He loves you and wants what’s best for you. He has a plan for you. Even if you don’t know what that plan is- He does. Lean on Him. Go to a doctor and get medication. It can be life changing!
God loves you and so do I. Don’t give up!